Being Brave in the little things

I recently started working at the library. I had no experience at all, but I do know what a book is and I have heard of the Dewey Decimal system. The local library were I work has a large selection of items, not just books, to check out. For instance they offer telescopes – really expensive ones – for a three to five night check out. Fishing poles are also available to check out. Night vision binoculars and cooking pans are some more items available; all at no charge to the patron – all you need is a library card.

Among the other offerings are the computers and printers. Of course as a library assistant I am required to help patrons use – as best as possible – the computer. I am SO not comfortable with this even though I am capable. Why? Well it is because I usually just dig around until I get it to work and the patrons want to go directly from point A to point G,H or I, quickly as possible. More often than not I direct the patron that is in distress on the computer to one of my fellow assistants.

Last night however, my fellow assistant was also my assistant manager and she wasn’t about to let me off the hook. She smiled and said I’ll take over the desk for you. Behind the desk is my safety zone. I know what to do behind the desk. I am brave behind the desk. As I headed out from behind the desk to help the older lady, I told myself I could do this. Virginia needed me to help her pull an email off her phone onto the computer so she could print it. She uses an iPhone. I do not. I don’t know iPhone all that well. As we got to the computer, it began.

There were a few issues we had to work through but 10 minutes later she was able to print. She thanked me for being so patient and helpful, and then went on her way. I was glad I helped her and knew what to do when an issue arose. I chided myself for not being more confident. But in the end I gained confidence. I will be more confident with the next patron I need to help.

At the beginning of this year the Lord told me my ONE WORD would be Brave. I would need to be brave and give others the confidence to be brave also. You may not think that the aforementioned act was really an act of bravery. However, for me it was. And when it was all over I realized, I may have not been brave and forged ahead, but I was brave enough to step out of my comfort zone, when pushed. And low and behold I was smart enough to do it and do it well. I didn’t have to guess one time what I needed to do.

About an hour later, as my assistant manager was walking out the door, she called my name. I walked over to where she was and there was a pizza delivery man standing there looking for me. I had not ordered pizza. She started smiling and said, “She ordered you a pizza for helping her! Good Job!” I was stunned. And appreciative.

God is faithful. He is so good. I know He is leading me to trust the knowledge and experience I have been given. He is helping me to push myself and to get out of my comfort zone and into the walking by faith zone one small step at a time.

In the early morning hours

A heaviness hung in the air. Though it was quiet, it was not calm. Tensions were high. ‘What should we do,’ became the question everyone thought, but no one asked. There had been the sound of laughter and a joyous brotherhood like no other in that very room just days before. Now everything was still. Six men remained. Alone. Several of their group had gone home; some to be with their families and others to take care of their accounts. ‘How many more would leave?’ James wondered. Anxiety wanted to rip his being apart, but he wouldn’t let it. Embarrassment of the whole matter nipped at his heels. ‘Was it all real?’ he questioned his mental well-being. He had been so sure until two days ago.

Those were but a few of the questions that plagued him this night. As a few of the men lay in their cots their heavy breathing, disrupted the quiet. There would be no sleep for James. His mind wouldn’t shut off. He shifted in his cot in an attempt to get in a more comfortable position; even this made him question – ‘Is there a more comfortable position?’ James gave a hard laugh at the thought. Maybe it was the waiting that was the hardest. James didn’t like to wait. He was a doer; a ‘get it done’ type of man. Waiting for something to happen, when you weren’t sure what it was to happen or if something even was going to happen, can be especially difficult. He lay there frustrated about his lack of sleep, anxious about his future, and yet hopeful because he remembered all the promises that his recently deceased leader had given.

A whisper pierced the silence.  “He said three days, right?”   It was Thomas.  Before James could answer his brother John injected, “Yes, three days.”  James confirmed by nodding his head.

“What do you suppose will happen?” another asked.

“I don’t know.”

“Well, do we need to do something?  Do we need to go somewhere?  Does anyone remember if we were given instructions?”  There was panic in Thomas’s voice.

“We need to sleep. We will talk about what to do in the morning.” James rolled over and closed his eyes. Sleep finally washed over him like an ocean wave on the shore.

The sound of women talking loudly and laughing outside the door woke James up.  He looked out the window.  The sun was barely shining over the horizon.  He ran to the door; John was right behind him and pushed his way outside.  Peter was there, along with Andrew and the other three men from their group, talking with Mary and Joanne.  The women were hysterical; joyfully laughing and talking wildly while flailing their arms.

James told them to come inside.  “You’ll wake the whole neighborhood.”

“I’m going to see for myself!” Peter yelled as he took off running.  John followed his lead and took off running.

As soon as the women had gathered inside, they began to tell James and the others what they had experienced at the grave of their friend and leader.  James was amazed and overjoyed.  No wonder Peter and John took off, he thought. 

“We were told to tell you to go to Galilee.  He will meet you there.”

Nathaniel, Thomas, and Philip shook their heads and tried to reason with the women.  “You couldn’t have seen him!”

“He is dead.  They killed him!  We all saw him hanging there on the cross!”

Mary was weeping because of their unbelief.  Joanne kept pressing on, “I don’t care if you do not believe us.  I know what I saw, and I believe what I heard.  The tomb was empty!  I saw it with my own eyes!”

Mary added, “He appeared to us!  He said to ‘tell my brothers to go to Galilee and there they will see me.’”

The floor was getting worn down by the pacing of the men.  They would look up at each other every once in a while with hopeful faces.

“I choose to believe,” James stated loudly, “He did tell us this would happen.  He did tell us that it would be on the third day!”

Andrew nodded in agreement and added, “Our sisters wouldn’t lie to us.  They love Him the same as us, if not more.  They, after all, thought to go and anoint him with spices and oils early this morning.  None of us even thought to do that.”

“How can it be true?”  Thomas questioned.

“What reason do they have to deceive us?”  James countered.

Mary stood and quietly and calmly answered, “We went to the tomb, walking quietly and weeping.  Along the way we questioned how we would remove the stone.  When we got there the earth shook violently and the stone rolled back.  The guards trembled and fainted to the ground.  We then saw a man whose appearance was like lightning and his clothing white as snow sitting on the stone.  He said to us ‘do not fear.  I know that you seek Jesus who was crucified.  He is not here, for he has risen, as he said.  Go in and see the place where he lay.’  And so we did.  Jesus was not there.  The cloths that wrapped his body were folded and left on the bench.  When we came out the man told us to come see you, His disciples, and to tell you, ‘He has risen from the dead and behold, He is going before you to Galilee.’  Then as we were on our way here_,”  Mary couldn’t go on.  She shuddered and wept.  But not with sorrow or fear, but of pure elation.  Joanne quickly and excitedly finished, “Jesus met us on the road!”  She jumped up and down clapping her hands and then stood still looking lovingly upward as if she was looking through the roof and straight into heaven.  “He appeared and we held His feet and worshiped Him.”  Joanne looked at the men and held their gaze for a long time before she continued.  “He told us to come tell you.  He told us to tell you to go to Galilee.  He talked to us!  It was definitely Him!  There is no doubt in my mind.”

“Mine neither!” Mary Magdalene declared.

Matthew and Thaddeus walked over to the door. Matthew opened it and turned towards the group. “I believe you, my dear sisters. Brothers, if these women tell us that our Lord wants us to go to Galilee, then we must go!”

They all agreed, though some still doubted, and prepared to go. As they were walking out the door, Peter came running up to them along with John lagging behind. Peter bent over resting his hands on his knees as he caught his breath. John came ambling up and leaned on his staff.

“We went to the grave,” Peter started. 

“And His body is not there!” John finished.  “The report that the women have been given is true!”

James looked at his brother, who gave him a nod and a wink. 

“Then,” he stated authoritatively, “we go to Galilee!”

Matthew 28:16-20
Now the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain to which Jesus had directed them.  And when they saw Him they worshiped Him, but some doubted.  And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.  Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you.  And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.

People get ready

I sat down one morning to do my Bible study. When I sat down, I had no idea what awaited me. I knew I would draw near the presence of God and I knew the passages I was going to cover.  I go from paragraph to paragraph in my study; slowly so I don’t miss anything. As I have described in previous post, I write down all my thoughts and questions in my notebook that I purposely bought for my study.

In this particular passage, Matthew 20: 23-26, I went verse by verse because each verse contains a different nuance and important bits of information. James and John, the sons of Zebedee, had their mother – or maybe she did it on her own – go to Jesus and ask that they sit at His right and left hand when He is on His throne. I sometimes wonder if this amused Jesus because they didn’t know what they were asking. He did say to them “You don’t know what you ask.” He then asks them if they are able to drink the cup that He was about to drink. Notice He didn’t ask if they were willing. He asks if they were able; physically, mentally and spiritually able to bear the pure raw terror and torture that was sure to come.

In America, Christians have become so comfortable with our freedoms to speak, act and react anyway we want – within lawful reason – that we really don’t know how to deal with persecution psychologically, let alone physically or spiritually.  Let’s face it, some aren’t able to deal with small amounts of hostility.  We get hurt if someone “unfriends” us on social media, that we mope and cry and tell everyone how they hurt us. We are so desperate for people to love us and give us the “like” (even better the “heart”), that we have become people pleasers instead Christ pleasers.  Don’t want to rock any boats. Don’t want to upset my co-workers. Don’t want to lose any family.  We have actually convinced ourselves and society, that it is better not to tell because we wouldn’t want to upset them. That is what love is – not telling them the truth. Afterall, telling them that Jesus came to save the world from eternal hell – fire and brimstone – because HE LOVES them is offensive.

James was executed by the sword for His belief in Jesus and John was beaten and exiled to Patmos for his belief in Christ.  They just wouldn’t stop witnessing to everyone!  Yet, what are the modern day Christians doing? Are we telling the world as we were commanded in Matt 28:18.

¹⁸ Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. ¹⁹ Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, ²⁰ and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”

Well, we in the U.S.A. are exceptionally satisfied with just inviting people to the church building and letting our Pastor witness to them. We glory in it.  Thereby, forgoing the possibility of hostility towards us or rejection to ourselves personally. By doing so, we have put all the responsibility upon the shoulders of a few good servants.  We invited into our gatherings – what was meant to be a place of worship by like-minded followers – those which are not like-minded and their presence disrupts the iron sharpening iron process, and the true spiritual worship. Thus, we aren’t challenging each other to stay strong and to be encouraged. Because they are there we have had to water down our messages of encouragement and remembrance of what Christ did for us to more palatable messages. And what I mean by that is, we don’t talk about being washed in the blood of Christ anymore – that sounds too gruesome.  We don’t say he was slaughtered like a lamb on the altar in our place – that sounds too cruel and horrific; maybe a little too much like animal abuse. Instead we say just He died for us and paid the price for our sin. True but not the full story.  We don’t even tell people they are sinners!!! Why? Because that would be judging them to be sinners. Judging isn’t loving.

We, American Christians, have grown soft and overtly sensitive that we become defensive if anyone doesn’t “Woohoo” when we do anything a little godly. Yeah, I said it and I mean it. Stop asking people to just come to church and start asking them,” Do you know Jesus?, Do you know that He loves you?, do you know there is a better life in Christ?”  Stop relying on your pastors and preachers to tell others about Jesus – their job is to feed and take care of the sheep already in the pasture – your job is to tell them. Stop worrying about what anyone – or everyone – will think. First we must invite them to Jesus and then bring them to church gatherings.

If the disciples would have only witnessed for “likes” as to avoid persecution, we wouldn’t even be here today. Would we even know?  Will telling others bring persecution? Yes, but right now I dare say nothing like they are in third world countries. Will it cost us friends and family. Yes.  So I ask you, Have you counted the cost of following Christ? Are  you willing to drink from the cup?

Jesus counted on His disciples to spread the Good News…Jesus is counting on you.

10 Things…

Scrolling through my social media feed lately and there are all sorts of lists. I am sure you have seen them too. 13 Things you need to stop saying to your Spouse – 16 Things you need to be Successful – 900 foods you should stop eating…oh how the list goes on and on. Well I have a list too. Ten (10) things that need to stop:

10 – Selfies
I like a good photo of myself. I like photos of friends. I like sharing a picture of me (and friends) at a place of interest to prove I was there. BUT, a bathroom photo? And not just one but 22,000?! Seriously people, no one wants to see that. If you are lonely and need someone to talk to, just call me. If you are trying to make yourself feel better about your looks or you are trying to build confidence, there are better ways. I am going to tell you what others won’t: “No one wants to see 12 selfies of you everyday.” No one. Enough already.

9 – Social media shaming
You know what I am talking about: Walmart people videos; crazy people videos; photos of people you think should just stay home; bad parents; bad pets. Some are amusing – the pet videos – I will admit. But, I don’t know why someone is wearing a skirt like a shirt without a bra, and though I wouldn’t do it, I truly don’t want to see someone else, who could be destitute for all I know, wearing that get-up.  Would you want your worst moments forever going viral? Do you know what is going on in those peoples lives to judge them so harshly and LAUGH at them? Do you even care? Put the phone down and talk to them. Or mind your own business. Ooh, there’s a concept we don’t hear often enough. Stop shaming people you don’t know and haven’t taken the time to get to know. It could be the worst day of their lives and you are laughing at them.

8- Texting while driving (or using your phone for any reason while driving)
Enough already – this one is self explanatory.  You are going to get someone killed. And I will miss you.

7- Believing everything you hear
Check facts. Make sure you are not spreading gossip and becoming part of the problem. Even trusted sources can be wrong. Some – Most News Reporters manipulate the truth to favor their political/theological agenda. Don’t solely rely on what they say someone says, try to listen to what the person is actually saying…in context.

6- Causing Dissention
I am talking about the news media purposely telling lies, twisting truths, manipulating and over-exaggerating true events, actions and words of the famous and non-famous, political allies and enemies, wealthy and poor. They are promoting the hatred in society and why wouldn’t they? They need something to report. I have had enough of opinion news. I find myself yelling at the TV, “I just want the facts! Just state the facts!” There is a reason why in court, you have to swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. It is because they don’t want your opinion. They want facts. All the facts. How would the news reporting be different if they were sworn-in every night before they read the teleprompter.

5 – Over-reacting
Oh the drama! Forgetting your manners and getting into someone else’s personal space and screaming at the top of your lunges…well that just needs to stop. Road rage – even if you don’t put action to your screaming – you need to take a deep breath, realize you just met someone at their worst moment and that you don’t actually know why they cut you off, but maybe they had a good reason – maybe they just got a call to get to the hospital. Besides, you may have little ears listening. It also may be affecting other areas in your life…I’m just saying. Calm down. Let it go. Walk/Drive away and don’t let it steal your joy or integrity – even if it did make you spill your coffee.

4 – Over/Under-protective (Extreme) Parenting
Do you know what this new generation of parents is being called by teachers? Lawn-mower parents. They are mowing down every little obstacle/problem/person that might possibly get in their childs(rens) way. They are making problems disappear. Their child will never make a wrong decision because they won’t be making any decision and therefore, will not know how to make a decision as an adult – or they won’t know how to deal with bad or good consequences for such decision because they have never had to deal with them as a child. To those parents I say – LET GO!! Let your child fall so they know how to get back up. I am not saying don’t help them, I am saying don’t do everything for them.
On the other hand, don’t just let them do whatever they want either. Don’t let them tell you what they are going to do and then you bare the brunt of their bad actions and behavior and taking the consequences away from them. If you let your children do bad, then let them receive bad. They will not learn unless you do. Teach them with your actions and your words. But don’t guard them from everything or they won’t learn.

3- Lying
Start telling the truth. Demand the truth from those you listen to. Don’t rely on your feelings to know the truth. Your feelings will lie to you. Also see #6 and 7.
Be honest. Be trustworthy. Have integrity.

2- Hate
Don’t hate; walk away if possible. Don’t spread hate; shut your mouth – bite your tongue if need be. Don’t presume hate or put hatred on someone. Just because someone disagrees with you on a subject doesn’t mean they hate you or fear you. You may agree on more issues than you disagree. If you don’t agree with someone or don’t like their opinion, remember they are human too and there is a reason they think that way – that you may or may not know about.
Stop calling some crimes “hate-crimes”. ALL crimes are hate crimes. (Example: Theft – someone hates that you have something they don’t, so they take it.)

And the number One thing that needs to stop is…

You. Stop trying to do it all; be it all; have it all; achieve it all; consume it all. Stop for just a second and breathe. Stop blaming, shaming, and degrading yourself for things out of your control or things you have done in your past. And stop listening to others who are blaming, shaming and degrading you. Stop listening to the voices that tell you you aren’t enough. Stop reading texts from haters. Stop reading posts that promote everything you are not but should be and things you weren’t meant to be. Stop calling yourself names. You know you do, “Stupid! Why would you do that!” Just Stop. Today is a new day. Today, you are free to be you AND you are enough. You are allowed to stop and smell the roses or coffee – whatever floats your boat. You are worthy. You are loved.

 

My Story, My Song

“You  have been brainwashed”
“Your parents have done a number on you. You’re just as loony as they are!”
“There is NO God! But if that is what you NEED to believe and it helps you then, whatever, but just know that there is No God. We are on our own!” 
“God is just a made-up coping mechanism for those who are weak.”
I have heard all of these lovely statements. 

I want to attest and make it very, very clear – I have not been brainwashed. I have not had a number done on me and I am not loony. And most assuredly, we are not on our own. There is a God and I believe in Him. Not because of anything anyone has told me but because He revealed Himself to me.

There hasn’t been a time in my life that I have not been aware of God and His love. My earliest memories involve Him. I have just always known God. Always. My parents only confirmed and strengthened my faith. I am being totally serious when I tell you this. One of my first memories is of being in church. I was with my parents, after service, and we were up front near the pulpit area. A man named Mike – dark brown, curly hair and a beard – picked me up and twirled me around. I remember very clearly thinking, “God loves me this way!” and “I will marry this man!” As I ponder those two thoughts, I realize, even then I was aware of God and I was boy-crazy. Haha, the later is sad but true. Just so you know, Mike was the same age as my dad and he was married to a red-headed woman, who I knew needed to get out of my way.  True story. I didn’t like his wife. I was approximately two years old.

Fast forward 4 or five years. I was sitting in a pew at our new country church. My mom had surgery so she wasn’t there. I sat between my older sister and Dad. There wasn’t a separate children’s service. I wasn’t given anything to occupy my attention. I was a fidgety child but I was strongly encouraged and expected not to disrupt the service. I say that to let you know, it was nothing I heard from the preacher or the music that influenced me. No, I didn’t hear a word Pastor Jack Johnson said. I occupied my time by straightening my dress, unbuckling my shoes and fixing my socks, rebuckling my shoes, twisting my hair or looking for Joey – a cutie pie, who was my older brothers age. As the end of the service approached I heard a familiar voice – a whisper – telling me that it would be a good day to go forward. “You need me, Judi”, it was Jesus, kind and sweet. I knew that. And I so wanted to go forward. I did. I wanted to go home and  be able to tell my mom, “I have Jesus in my heart!” I knew she would be so happy. Oh how I wanted to. But I thought that my Sunday School teachers* would say, “No, not that one!” I was convinced that they would laugh at me and ridicule me in front of everyone. So I didn’t. Week after week, Sunday after Sunday.

I was a child so I don’t know how long in reality it was, but I think it was a month. Finally, my mom recovered and attended church with us. Now I really had to be good, but she made it easy cause she would let me lay my head on her lap and she would play with my hair. Oh how I loved that!! The first Sunday she came back, it got to be the end of the service when I heard that same whisper and tug on my heart. Then I heard, “You don’t want to be laughed at.” I was at war within and tears came streaming down my face. In truth I didn’t even know why I needed to go up and accept Jesus, I just knew He said it was what I needed and it was important.  My mom saw my face and asked if I wanted to go up front, “I’ll go with you” she said so lovingly. So I did. 

Now I want you to know this. I don’t remember what I prayed. I only repeated what Pastor told me to say. But I knew that the moment I stepped out of the pew, Jesus was in my heart. And I knew that I was HIS. A year (or months – not sure) later I was baptized. I think it was a year because my parents wanted me to be old enough to understand what it meant and to be sure I was making the decision on my own. I didn’t make the decision for the right reasons. My new boyfriend, Timmy, was also getting baptized so…I was baptized in May (I do remember that cause it was cold) in Indian Creek. As an adult I have contemplated getting baptized this time with full knowledge, but after careful consideration I have come to realize I don’t need to because whether I knew what I was doing or not, God Did. And His grace is sufficient.

I found this verse recently and love how it accurately describes my life in Christ: 

⁹ Yet you are He who took me from the womb;
   You made me trust you at my mother’s breasts.
¹⁰ On You was I cast from my birth,
    and from my mother’s womb You have been my God.
                                                                    ~Psalm 22:9-10 (ESV)

In my quest to attest to God’s goodness and grace I write this post.  There is so much more to tell, but that will be for another time. However, I will say this, I have heard His voice in good and bad times. I have always felt His presence and have known His grace even in the midst of my tumultuous teen years, my dark twenties, and every decade since. 

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I would love to hear from your testimony.  I do filter all comments, so it may take a while for them to show up. I will also try to answer any questions quickly and as best as I am able. I hope you have enjoyed reading this and have found encouragement in your walk with the Lord.

May God bless you – Judi

Do not be deceived…

The sun shines down telling me that it is warming the earth. It is deceptive. It is not warming the earth. It is -4° this morning. It will only warm up to 9° today. I hate being deceived. Deception in any form or in any matter is immoral. Yet this past Saturday, we deceived my son to get him to come to his surprise birthday party we were throwing him. Was that a good deception? I mean after all we did tell him the pipes had burst at his coffee shop. It caused him a lot of distress for about 10 minutes. Once he realized the crisis didn’t exist and we had good intentions, he forgave us; I think. Not that we asked him too. However, he may never trust us again (Boy who cried wolf, type thing).

I really don’t know what my point is here…I suppose I am just pondering. I tend to ponder things a lot; about strange things and about real world matters. My mind is a Yellowstone Park geyser. It just erupts with ideas and thoughts and opinions, but then goes blank when I get a pen and paper in my hand. Only to erupt again when I am busy doing something else or in the bathroom. Great thoughts come to me while taking a shower. I ‘write’ whole articles on different subjects, and they are smart and intelligent pieces, while I wash myself clean. But when I get out, get dressed and go to write them down they are little more than fragmented sentences. Every once in a while the topic geyser will go off at a convenient time and I will write an interesting and informational blog. This is not one of those times.

Sorry. But in keeping with my resolve to blog twice a month, I need to post something and it is January 30; nothing like cutting it close. So I guess you could say that this blog is a deception. It isn’t important. It hasn’t given you any information that will change your thinking or encourage you, so far. I do feel obligated to at least encourage you. So I will end with a scripture verse. When you feel deceived or infringed upon, dejected, or like a failure, remember what Jesus said,

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have many troubles. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” – John 16:33

Today is a good day to let Jesus have your problems; to take heart for the battle has already been won.

Also, Galatians 6:7-10:

“Do not be deceived; God is not mocked! For whatever a mans sows, that he will also reap. For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who reaps to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life. And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith.”

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I would love to hear from you. Please leave a comment or questions you may have. I do filter all comments, so it may take a while for them to show up. I will also try to answer any questions quickly and as best as I am able. May God bless you – Judi

I will Attest to that

I wasn’t going to do a word of the year. I was quite content without having to structure my life around a discipline. After all, I feel like that is all I ever do is go from one focus to another and don’t have any real rest from shame when I don’t stay focused. But that is no excuse. AND is not the true point of the One Word. One Word is to help you focus yes, but also to notice and remember how Good God is. To see His Word, His provision, His love in everything, in every way and every where. But still I wasn’t going to do it. I didn’t need another failure…right?! Last year my word was Trust with the tagline – Find joy in your journey. And I will admit that I did remember to look for ways to TRUST  but only really focused my attention about 80% of the time. That is a good percentage, but honestly it isn’t going for the prize (1 Corinthians 9:24).

Two days after Thanksgiving I was sitting at my moms house next to my niece, Olivia. It was her 30th birthday. We started talking and she asked me a question that kind of shook me to my core. “Have you written anything lately?” Seeing my face, which can not mask anything, she asked, “Are you writing?”  The answer was a resounding, undeniable and unequivocally NO. I had not. I haven’t for a long time. Why? Well, I like to use the lame excuse that every, and I mean EVERY, time that I grab a pen or go to the computer to type my mind goes completely  and utterly blank (which is the truth. It just happened to me today; this morning I was really focused on what I was learning from my devotional and I got a pen to write it down and plltt it was gone. Gone. Like yesterday is gone. Never to return). Add to that I am…well, lazy and rather watch Hallmark movies than think about anything, and you have the reason I haven’t wrote down anything or posted any blog.  Did I tell her this? No. I think I gave yet another lame excuse and let her tell me about what she has been writing – a book that I am quite interested in reading. 

Three weeks later I was sitting in my son’s Poplar Bluff, MO church (West Side Church of God) and the Pastor told of the One Word that would be guiding the church this year (honestly I don’t remember what it was) and as he was telling the congregation why and what the word meant to them as a whole, God spoke to me. He whispered in a firm, serious yet kind voice, “Your word is Attest. Yes, you will have a One Word this year. Attest. Tell your story. Testify of My greatness and goodness in your life. Tell everyone. Tagline – write it down.”  He instantly brought to mind my nieces question and told me He was the reason she asked it. He put the words in her mouth.  He used her to get me thinking and causing me to realize I had been lazy/careless  with the gift that He has given me. I repented immediately and there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. What I did yesterday is forgiven and can’t be changed. But today is the only day that counts. 

So here I am today writing or typing my commitment (on my Christmas gift that my awesome hubby gave me) and declaring that starting today I am going to commit to:

* writing down or journaling my thoughts, at least three times a week. 

* I will post at least two blogs a month.

* Share His love and be a witness (attest) of His faithfulness with those I come in contact     with every day.

I write this so you, my readers (if any are left), will keep me accountable. You see, God is faithful and I want to be faithful also. I need reminders. Please be a reminder for me. Sometimes I get so bogged down with sounding smart when I write that I don’t write, cause I don’t think I am smart. It is an everyday war in my head. A battle that rages even now as I type. I do not type this for you to write a compliment. I type this so if you struggle with this, you will know that you are not alone. AND you are smart enough. I am too. If I need any encouragement all I have to do is read my news feed on my phone, written by the paid journalist – who have degrees in journalism. Their stories are filled with misspelled words and incorrect grammar.  It is very sad, yet it encourages me! Haha.

Anyway, Thanks to all who do read this. I do hope it encourages you and motivates you to keep on doing what you are gifted to do.

 

In His Name I write,
Judi

Going at it Alone

Have you ever watched ants? I mean really watch how they work together and achieve their objectives. If not, you should. Ants are very interesting and intriguing to me. They are hardworking little creatures. I don’t like them in my house, but outside on my front porch is where I watch them without killing them. I spend most mornings sitting in my brown wicker chair with green cushions that are on my red brick lined concrete porch surrounded by my lovely and colorful potted plants, sipping my coffee and eating my breakfast. I love to do my Bible study out there. Inevitably crumbs from whatever I am eating will drop to the concrete. The swiftness of the ants attack on the crumbs is quite extraordinary! Depending on the size of the crumb, they have it sectioned off and carried away within minutes usually.  All because they work together and are united in their mission.

Although, the other day I came out as usual and the ants were already at work carrying away a moth that had lost its life during the night. But this time, a couple of the ants went rogue.  While a large group worked on the large carcass, and another smaller group worked on worked on wing 1, a loner ant tried moving wing 2 by herself.  She had grabbed the wing with her mouth on its narrow end causing the wing to stand straight up in the air. As she tried to walk back to the ant hill the wing would swing awkwardly from side to side, back and forth, eventually landing on the ground – and that was just to get to the ledge of the porch; she would then have the long journey down to the ground and into the nest. The poor ant wasn’t making much progress because she was wobbling to and fro along the trail.

Meanwhile the carcass group was progressing quite nicely; working together. They picked it up and started marching.  Wing 1 group was making some progress, but they had to contend with uncooperative ants – freeloaders is what they were. The group had a leader in front guiding them, a few in the back pushing them forward, and several underneath carrying the load. The hindering ants kept climbing on top of the wing tipping it side-to-side.  A few of those underneath would come out and force the delinquent ants off and away, then would crawl back under and start moving again.

Concurrently the loner ant was still struggling with her load when another ant showed up to help.  However, loner ant didn’t want help. She thought she didn’t need it, I suppose.  Still, the helper ant tried.  He tried to help bare the load, but she wouldn’t relinquish any part of the burden – fearing loss of control maybe.  He tried talking to her (yes, I do believe they were arguing because of their body language) but she wouldn’t listen. Finally, he tried to climb up the wing to push it down. Twice he got catapulted off; once he flew about three inches away. After a long while helper ant left loner ant to go at it alone. Several more stopped to help loner ant get to the edge of the porch but none succeeded in being able to help.

It took a long while but finally they all reached the ledge. You would probably guess the carcass ants reached there first, but you would be wrong. Nor was it the wing 1 group. Though they were seconds behind the first arrival, which was the loner ant. Yes, unbelievably, the group that was working so well together was last. Why? Apparently, no one knew where they were going. They carried the moth’s dead body way over to the left of the porch and then to the front towards the ledge and then had to backtrack to the right spot of the edge. How did the loner get there faster? While she needlessly struggle alone, she did know where she was going. If she would have accepted help she would have gotten there even quicker and wouldn’t have had to strive to stay on the course.  In the end the wing 1 group, which started moving minutes later than the others, did the best. They had a leader who knew where to go, some who took care of the problem-makers, some to carry the load and some to push (encourage). They were able to make a straight line to the edge and continue down the side of the porch. Loner had to sit there and watch, trying to figure out how to get down to the ground with her heavy, bulky load.

I don’t know how she got down or what happened to loner. I stopped observing a few minutes after the carcass group headed down. She got to the edge first, but the ledge wasn’t the goal. The goal was the anthill.

Do you see the lesson here; Do you get the metaphor here? Are you a loner or in a group that has no vision. Or are you one of those that cause others trouble?

Beloved, we need not carry our loads and burdens alone. We need not go at it alone. We need to be united. We need to share and fellowship with each other and encourage each other toward until we are home.  Let us gather together to carry each others burdens.

“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if one falls, one will lift up his fellow….a threefold cord is not quickly broken.”
~ Ecc. 4:9-12

I encourage you to use that phone in your hand to actually call someone.  Have lunch with someone. Go over or invite them over to your house. Reach out and touch someone…they need you.

The Good News not Religion

As a child I grew up on a farm. We raised cows and chickens and occasionally we had horses. Part of my chores when I was younger was to feed the chickens and collect their eggs. Once or twice a year we would gather the extra roosters and chickens that didn’t produce and butchered them. The first thing my dad did to prepare them was to tie their feet to the clothes line. He would then hold their head with one hand and chop off their heads with an ax with the other.  Now I am not trying to be gruesome here, but it was a sight to behold. The beheaded chickens would flap their wings so hard trying to loosen their feet from the line that they became a windmill going round-n-round. Occasionally, one would get loose and fall to the ground. It would walk around without a head, as if nothing were wrong. Dad would just let them go. He knew they would eventually fall down. Without a head they had limited time and abilities.Like a chicken with its head cut off runs around trying to convince others it isn’t dead, so the devil roams around trying to prove he isn’t defeated. He makes Christians feel like we are the helpless ones by making us think we aren’t free. He entangles our thoughts by making us feel pressure to keep sacred man-made rules of religion; We must do this, we must not do that; he will do anything to keep us in bondage. He yells at us to:  -try harder  -do more  -go faster  -do better  -be better.  He turns our spiritual walk into a long list of Dos and Don’ts.

But we must remember this – Satan has been defeated by Jesus Christ. The empty grave is proof.  Like those headless chickens, his time is limited. His power over us has been decapitated and limited to what our heavenly Father allows.  We are free from our past; we are free from our sins; we are no longer under the law.  In the book of Galatians Paul confronts the brethren, who had been set free from the Law through Jesus Christ. He asks, “Who had bewitched you into thinking that they must still live under the law when it is by faith in Christ that they have been set free?” Why would they want to go back to bondage under the law? Why would we?  If we are living under the impression that we can and must be good enough to get into heaven, then we are believing a lie, just like the Galatians. You see, we will never be good enough.

Muhammad Ali stated in a Reader’s Digest article: “One day we’re all going to die, and God is going to judge our good deeds and bad deeds. If the bad outweighs the good, you go to hell. If the good outweighs the bad, you go to heaven.”  Sadly, that is how most of the world thinks.  Sadder still, it is what we Christians have been led to believe also.  Why? Because human nature craves to have control and have boundaries and because this legalistic system offers a method of measurement of righteousness – I have done good things therefore I am good. It offers a feeling of pride. But the downfall is that it leads to comparison. Comparison either makes you feel superior or inferior – neither honors nor please God.

Here’s the thing, if we could achieve goodness by works then Christ’s death and resurrection was in vain. You see, our outward acts (like not drinking alcohol, not eating this or that, or our regular church attendance) profit us nothing in regards to our righteousness.  Think about all the religious traditions we have. Do they save us? No. Do they purify us? No. Do they add anything to our right standing with God? Of course not. Praise be to God, our loving Father that our righteousness, our salvation, doesn’t depend on our acts of kindness or goodness, for we would never be good enough – especially in this day and age when sinfulness is so readily available. I mean, think about it, how many times this week alone have you watched something you shouldn’t have, wrongly criticized someone or gossiped about them, or had road rage? Maybe you failed to do the right thing or fallen to a temptation.  The spirit is willing but the flesh is so so weak. Our bad would greatly outweigh the good…but there is Good News.  And the Good News isn’t about trying harder or doing more. No. The Good News is that our faith in Jesus is enough.

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More thoughts I would like to add and will expound upon in future postings:
1) Does this freedom mean we are free to keep on sinning and do whatever feels good? Absolutely not. We are to repent from our sins and put our faith in Jesus Christ. To repent means to turn from and ask forgiveness. It means we leave this world of sin and enter into the Kingdom of God, free of sin.
2) With all the rules of Christianity and traditions we think we must follow, are we raising our children to live in church or in Christ? Are we living united in denominations or in united in Christ?
3) Yes, the Lord may tell you to do some specific thing to do or not to do. It is private and personal because the Lord knows and loves you.  He is a personal God.  It is not a conviction to put on others.

 

Sometimes you just don’t know

I walked into the doc’s office, like I was walking onto a yacht… I was in full makeup and my hair was perfect and I was dressed to go out. I had my BFF/sister with me and we had made plans to go shopping. I just needed to go to my GI doc and get the okay to go back to work. (I was in agony a week previously and was told (erroneously) that I had Hep A by an ER doctor – who didn’t even test me for such a disease – and told by my Doctor to go to this GI. Since I missed more than 3 days of work I needed a doctor to say yes I had been sick and yes I was good to go back.) The pain was subsiding and I had minor pain in my upper stomach. It was getting better. So I went in expecting to go on about my day as planned. I went into Dr. G’s office and he looked at my blood work from 8 days prior and ordered yet another round of blood work. He was shocked at how high my enzyme levels were. He was also shocked that no one had thought to order an ultrasound. He said I needed one immediately. His instructions were very stern and simple: go down one level and have the ultrasound – they were expecting me. Then I was to come back up and let his receptionist know that I was back.

So I did go down one level and got the ultrasound done – being careful when I laid down to not mess up my hair. I was going shopping after all this was finished. I did notice the tech was taking a little longer than necessary and went over the same spots several times, but I told myself, “she’s just making sure nothing is wrong.” Because I was sure there wasn’t. So I washed the goo off my stomach and went out to meet my sis and said, “Are you ready? I just need to go up and confirm everything’s good.”  We get off the elevator and turn the corner and just as we were walking into the open reception area, Dr. G comes running out of the office toward me with his nurse trying to keep up (not exaggerating here, he was moving quickly). He gently put a hand on my shoulder and looked me square in the eye and said, “You are going to turn around and go directly to the hospital. You are being admitted right now.”

I stared at him blankly. “What?” I wanted to say “But I am going shopping.” Indeed, my mind was screaming at him, “Do you see my hair? I am having a really good hair day!! I am not wasting it by going to the hospital.”

“Your gallbladder is twice its size and is embedded into your liver. You need to have it taken out. Did you eat breakfast this morning?”  “Yes”  “Then it will have to be tomorrow morning. She can eat lunch but after that no food.” He was talking to my sister and his nurse now.   “But, I am feeling okay. Can I go home and get some clothes first?”

He turned back to me and looked at me as if I weren’t human. His brows were raised as if questioning my sanity. “Are you not feeling any pain?  I don’t know how you are standing right now!”  I stood there in disbelief – how dare my body work against me!! I was ready to go shopping!!  “I can’t go home and then to go right to the hospital? I will; I promise.”
They sat me down and explained to me how dire the situation was, but all I could hear was I wasn’t going out today and I was trying to determine if they were just making a big deal out of nothing. I mean really, the pain was going away. It was at a level 2, when I went to the ER it was at a level 15 – on a scale of 1 to 10, 10 being the OUCHies.

So what is the point of this story? Well, I do have one. I ended up having surgery the next morning and was told I had been very lucky that nothing was damaged and that I hadn’t had another attack. I most likely wouldn’t be here now. So the point of my story is this…if it is hurting you, set up an appointment with your doctor and get it checked out. If you don’t think you are getting the right answer, get a second opinion. How many times to do we have to hear someone with stage 4 damage, and if they would have caught it earlier?

Also, little things matter. The gall bladder is a small organ, yet it plays a large part in your digestive system. It matters. That is why God gave it to you. Can you live without it? Yes, but you have to alter your diet. And, it is better to live having it.

Small sins matter. Little white lies, though meant to avoid hurting another person, do hurt. Small compromises in integrity, though meant to avoid confrontation and keep peace, hurt. Tiny infractions, not meant to harm anyone, do harm.  Who does it hurt? You. Those who know you loose trust and respect. Numbers 32:23 “… behold you have sinned against the Lord; and be sure your sin will find you out.” Every sinful action, though great or small will come home to you again, bringing retribution with them. Can you live with little sins?  Yes, but not eternally or happily, and it is better to live on earth without it.

On the flip side – Small good deeds also matter. They have the opposite affect. They can cause people to love, trust and respect you. Smiles usually cause more smiles. Words of encouragement, said with a dose of love, embolden the hearer. Small acts of kindness, meant to help others day be brightened, shine bright.

Take care of the small things. Don’t neglect the seemingly unimportant. It is important. You are important. You matter. Though you may be small, you can leave a big impression.  So, go forth and shine. You never know whose small world needs a little bit of you in it.